Words are useful. They form the unformed imaginings of the mind. They are useful for taking a portion of those imaginings and touching the minds of other people. Words have become a crutch though. We have taken them and depended on them when we pursue the imaginings of our own minds.
In the communication - one mind to another - what exists in one mind crosses at an intersection of what exists in the other mind. This intersection is a fine crosshair. What exists in the mind is a vast ocean - more vast - it is the vastness of space.
Poetry attempts to communicate this vast storehouse of treasure. one would think that in an abundance of words we can some how reveal this vastness. Yet it is with brevity where we tap the treasure.
Some have gotten pretty close to writing in such brevity. The wisdom writings of the ancient Hebrews were one. Many of the writings of the Hebrew proverbs were poems that had parallel thought. In saying the same thing twice one could not just double the meaning, but multiply it. They also had contrasting thoughts. A contrasting thought could sharpen the focus - even though it would appear to obscure the meaning.
Even better were the writings of the Japanese writers. The Japanese poets refined the art of the short poem. The most refined were the Tanka and the Haiku. Many times these poems created a moment and a place in time, creating a moment to free the mind from the burden of the day.
he in quietness
touches the magnolia
swimming in fragrance
Friday, June 12, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009
in such a
sometimes i always wonder (so when will you grow up) if i will someday be - yet i am always moving forward — moving - is it true that we strive to arrive but miss the fact that the trip is the real trip - when will i be what i am (are you really (no but not you)) - how can i (or is it will) communicate (but you talk so much (do you ever say anything (who am i am you am me am i))) - and then i always assume that i will get my act together someday be like you (is the you you or the you me) is this the color of my mind so why would i ever want to be like you but to be the me that is is me - and which me is i i would want to be am i what i am or what i imagine me hm - either will be fine (are we ever what we are or are we what we imagine we to be (or is it me) - which is the question if i we me don't punctuate - is it you or is it me or the me i think i am or who i really am or is really really - excuse me sylvia is that you (or really you (or is this me that is speaking (or am i speaking (or is thinking really speaking)))i think i lost count) who is sylvia is she the sylvia i want her to be or the one you (you not me) imagine her to be?????????????????????
Monday, April 20, 2009
on the poem
To me the poem is a constant state of transition. Every poem, every poetic era in my writing is a point of transition. Once I have reached a point or achieved a poetic goal I move on. There have been times where I have felt I have reached a certain quality in writing. Those moments were ones in which the transition has been the greatest.
One of the goals I have had in verse is to be able to trim down so that I can write a poem that says what I want to say in the fewest words. Though the subject has an importance the craft of writing has a high importance.
To write the perfect poem is not the goal. Once a poem is written, although it may suffer a few tweaks here and there I often go on and write another one. You may see the same poem in another one written soon after or later. Not only is the perfect poem not a goal it is a distraction. There is a certain value in the so called imperfections in a poem.
There was a time when a friend told me that I had found my voice in my poetry. At the time my reaction was to pursue radically changing my voice. Now, since that was a time where I was pursuing a new career and my son's were demanding more of my time the writing sat on the back burner. When that career was well established and my son's were a little older and the thoughts of how I could change the were more established I experimented with some different forms (always remembering how I had written before).
At one point as a method to force myself to be a better writer I started a blog and was determined to write a poem for every day. I did that for a year exactly. It did a few things. First I think I improved. Next I moved closer to the goal in writing shorter verse. I started writing a short form verse. Here is one.
I touch) you (touch me
this spark beauty -
in this mask
I can't say that I have arrived. If I do I will probably change again, but I don't' plan on waiting over ten years again.
My goal will always be always be moving on and up.
Here are the first two poems I wrote on the blog.
stands on something
turn to peer
missing this
------
and then he looks
walk a few steps
turn a head aside
do you have it
I am not your other
step away
pocket hand
a healthy stride
One of the goals I have had in verse is to be able to trim down so that I can write a poem that says what I want to say in the fewest words. Though the subject has an importance the craft of writing has a high importance.
To write the perfect poem is not the goal. Once a poem is written, although it may suffer a few tweaks here and there I often go on and write another one. You may see the same poem in another one written soon after or later. Not only is the perfect poem not a goal it is a distraction. There is a certain value in the so called imperfections in a poem.
There was a time when a friend told me that I had found my voice in my poetry. At the time my reaction was to pursue radically changing my voice. Now, since that was a time where I was pursuing a new career and my son's were demanding more of my time the writing sat on the back burner. When that career was well established and my son's were a little older and the thoughts of how I could change the were more established I experimented with some different forms (always remembering how I had written before).
At one point as a method to force myself to be a better writer I started a blog and was determined to write a poem for every day. I did that for a year exactly. It did a few things. First I think I improved. Next I moved closer to the goal in writing shorter verse. I started writing a short form verse. Here is one.
I touch) you (touch me
this spark beauty -
in this mask
I can't say that I have arrived. If I do I will probably change again, but I don't' plan on waiting over ten years again.
My goal will always be always be moving on and up.
Here are the first two poems I wrote on the blog.
stands on something
turn to peer
missing this
------
and then he looks
walk a few steps
turn a head aside
do you have it
I am not your other
step away
pocket hand
a healthy stride
Sunday, April 05, 2009
They lied to us - slow and steady, or fast and easy?
They lied to us. They told us that slow and sure was the way to go. You remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare. In the story the hare is sure of himself and races on ahead of the tortoise. The hare knows he will win and takes a nap only to find that while he was sleeping the tortoise wins.
In life we are supposed to do the job right and take the slow and steady course. Unfortunately in real life the people who matter (or think they matter) will always pick the person who appears to be doing well and criticizing the one who takes it slow, but makes sure to do the job right.
I don't know how many times I have worked at a job that is more concerned about impression and had no concern for substance. The management even invites cheating. They tell the workers that they are looking at performance numbers. Do you know how easy it is to make the numbers look good, but not do a good job. Unfortunately I don't. I have always tried to do the job right. For years I didn't even know that I was failing in the eyes of the bosses. Now I know, but I just can't bring myself to cheat.
Another way that we are taking the fast way to cheat is in our finances. I am sure that people are wondering why we are in the financial mess we are in. Everything that we have done with our finances where we are making money or getting things quickly have contributed to the problem. There are a few exceptions. The company that finds that one thing that everyone wants (a story, a web site, a TV show...), and they make it rich quickly. The problem is that is the exception and not the rule. People buy things that they don't need (I have never paid more than $200 dollars for a TV). Take a second on their house to take a vacation.
Companies get into the same trouble and try to make it big too fast. Wall Street and the Banks also got into the act. The most interesting thing is that they are surprised that we are in the worst economic time since the great depression. I remember the great internet bubble a few years ago. I actually got involved in that. I knew that it was a big bubble that was ready to burst, but I also knew that the internet was something that would last. I also worked for internet companies that were into selling on the internet. I wanted to know that side of the business. I wasn't doing it so I could become rich (not that I would have turned down the money).
So in the long run slow and steady will win the race. The Hares got rich and fat and didn't see the crash coming. The tortoises saw it coming, but who listens to us. I understand why they want to fix it quick. It is like a patient who is brought into the emergency room. At first the doctors are taking drastic measures to save his life. Next they rush him to the operating room and perform emergency. This is a little less drastic, but still they are taking extreme measures. After that the patient is given drugs and treatment that is temporary and will bring him back to a somewhat normal state. Unfortunately we will stop right here in our financial mess. We may even stop at the Operating Room step. There is a third step. We need to change our lifestyle. The patient needs to eat right, exercise and get good sleep.
This will not happen. Our world is not ready to stop being excessive in how it spends, in its lifestyle. Our government won't let it happen. Big business won't let it happen. The rich won't let it happen. We need power. We need to keep big companies big and powerful. We need to keep the rich and help them to get richer. They need to do it fast and easy. Slow and steady is for losers - but not for me, I'll still go slow and easy, doing it right as best I can.
In life we are supposed to do the job right and take the slow and steady course. Unfortunately in real life the people who matter (or think they matter) will always pick the person who appears to be doing well and criticizing the one who takes it slow, but makes sure to do the job right.
I don't know how many times I have worked at a job that is more concerned about impression and had no concern for substance. The management even invites cheating. They tell the workers that they are looking at performance numbers. Do you know how easy it is to make the numbers look good, but not do a good job. Unfortunately I don't. I have always tried to do the job right. For years I didn't even know that I was failing in the eyes of the bosses. Now I know, but I just can't bring myself to cheat.
Another way that we are taking the fast way to cheat is in our finances. I am sure that people are wondering why we are in the financial mess we are in. Everything that we have done with our finances where we are making money or getting things quickly have contributed to the problem. There are a few exceptions. The company that finds that one thing that everyone wants (a story, a web site, a TV show...), and they make it rich quickly. The problem is that is the exception and not the rule. People buy things that they don't need (I have never paid more than $200 dollars for a TV). Take a second on their house to take a vacation.
Companies get into the same trouble and try to make it big too fast. Wall Street and the Banks also got into the act. The most interesting thing is that they are surprised that we are in the worst economic time since the great depression. I remember the great internet bubble a few years ago. I actually got involved in that. I knew that it was a big bubble that was ready to burst, but I also knew that the internet was something that would last. I also worked for internet companies that were into selling on the internet. I wanted to know that side of the business. I wasn't doing it so I could become rich (not that I would have turned down the money).
So in the long run slow and steady will win the race. The Hares got rich and fat and didn't see the crash coming. The tortoises saw it coming, but who listens to us. I understand why they want to fix it quick. It is like a patient who is brought into the emergency room. At first the doctors are taking drastic measures to save his life. Next they rush him to the operating room and perform emergency. This is a little less drastic, but still they are taking extreme measures. After that the patient is given drugs and treatment that is temporary and will bring him back to a somewhat normal state. Unfortunately we will stop right here in our financial mess. We may even stop at the Operating Room step. There is a third step. We need to change our lifestyle. The patient needs to eat right, exercise and get good sleep.
This will not happen. Our world is not ready to stop being excessive in how it spends, in its lifestyle. Our government won't let it happen. Big business won't let it happen. The rich won't let it happen. We need power. We need to keep big companies big and powerful. We need to keep the rich and help them to get richer. They need to do it fast and easy. Slow and steady is for losers - but not for me, I'll still go slow and easy, doing it right as best I can.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Where are you Patty?
I had few friends in High School. I didn't have any friends until I was a Junior in High School. Most of my friends were younger than me by one or two years. When I finally graduated (another story altogether) I still spent a lot of time with my friends in High School.
There were a group of girls that were a couple of years younger than me. I knew most of them. Claire was the one I was closest to. It had been about thirty years and I had lost touch with Claire. Through a mutual friend (one of those girls by the name of Wendy) I finally got in touch with her and decided to go over to her house.
The High School that we went to was in La Verne, CA. Claire lived in Pomona, which was just south of La Verne. We had a nice talk and it was amazing to me that Claire was in many ways the same person I knew in High School. While we were talking Claire told me about another friend of ours named Patty Partin.
La Verne was a pretty small town in the early 70s, and our High School was small also. I remember Patty's sister when I started 7th grade. I think her name was Pam. Her sister and another 8th grade girl took my glasses and put makeup on the lenses. It was a way to initiate me into Middle School. Surprisingly I understood the initiation to be a good thing. I liked the attention, but I was pretty sure that they did it because they liked my older brother and wanted to get his attention. It didn't work. I thought that Pam was the most beautiful girl I had ever met, so I was sure that any chance to get to know her was pretty nil.
After I graduated from High School I had gotten a job at the bank in LA that my Mother worked for. Since I lived at home and had no or few expenses I was flush with money. I was building a nice record collection. One night after dropping by my friend Hans' house I ended up at Patty's house. These are interesting details to me since I don't recall very many specific details from that long ago (it was about 35 years ago now). Hans was at his house with some friends of his and they were involved with some, let's say unsavory activity. I wasn't invited, so I left and like I said I ended up at Patty's house.
I would guess that Patty was 16 or 17 at the time. I wasn't normally friends with Patty, and I never spent any time alone with her before or after. I assume I was alone with her, but I can't imagine why I would have gone there alone. That is the strange thing about memory. I remember being at Hans' house, and I remember being at Patty's, but I can't remember the time between.
The most memorable thing about that night wasn't Patty (by the way, I thought she was as pretty as her sister, but I believe she didn't think so). The most memorable thing was that Patty and I sat on her bed and she played David Bowie albums for me. Ziggy Stardust would have been out by then, and I bet I heard it there since I knew the album very well, but I don't think I heard it again for many years after. I did go out and buy Hunky Dory and listened to it exclusively for about 2 months every night.
I hadn't quite forgotten about Patty, but Claire had jogged my memory. Claire told me that Patty's bones may have been found in Death Valley, and that she had been involved in some cult. That was all that she remembered, but if I wanted to know more I should ask Wendy. That piqued my curiosity, so later when I was at home I emailed Wendy and asked her about Patty. Wendy told me to Google 'Nury Alexander' and 'Blue Scout'. When I did this I found the whole story. Now I won't bore you with the rest of her story. Other people have documented that much more thoroughly.
The thing is, that is not the Patty I knew. Patty was pretty much like all of the other girls I knew. She was maybe a little more starry eyed. In many ways the Patty I knew was not the same girl that lived that other life. A few years later the bones that were found in Death Valley were confirmed to be Patty. I was sad then.
Right after Claire told me about Patty I wrote this poem.
Patty Partin
where are you Patty
slip into the mist
silent now are you
or live another
life away our heart
string touch you
There were a group of girls that were a couple of years younger than me. I knew most of them. Claire was the one I was closest to. It had been about thirty years and I had lost touch with Claire. Through a mutual friend (one of those girls by the name of Wendy) I finally got in touch with her and decided to go over to her house.
The High School that we went to was in La Verne, CA. Claire lived in Pomona, which was just south of La Verne. We had a nice talk and it was amazing to me that Claire was in many ways the same person I knew in High School. While we were talking Claire told me about another friend of ours named Patty Partin.
La Verne was a pretty small town in the early 70s, and our High School was small also. I remember Patty's sister when I started 7th grade. I think her name was Pam. Her sister and another 8th grade girl took my glasses and put makeup on the lenses. It was a way to initiate me into Middle School. Surprisingly I understood the initiation to be a good thing. I liked the attention, but I was pretty sure that they did it because they liked my older brother and wanted to get his attention. It didn't work. I thought that Pam was the most beautiful girl I had ever met, so I was sure that any chance to get to know her was pretty nil.
After I graduated from High School I had gotten a job at the bank in LA that my Mother worked for. Since I lived at home and had no or few expenses I was flush with money. I was building a nice record collection. One night after dropping by my friend Hans' house I ended up at Patty's house. These are interesting details to me since I don't recall very many specific details from that long ago (it was about 35 years ago now). Hans was at his house with some friends of his and they were involved with some, let's say unsavory activity. I wasn't invited, so I left and like I said I ended up at Patty's house.
I would guess that Patty was 16 or 17 at the time. I wasn't normally friends with Patty, and I never spent any time alone with her before or after. I assume I was alone with her, but I can't imagine why I would have gone there alone. That is the strange thing about memory. I remember being at Hans' house, and I remember being at Patty's, but I can't remember the time between.
The most memorable thing about that night wasn't Patty (by the way, I thought she was as pretty as her sister, but I believe she didn't think so). The most memorable thing was that Patty and I sat on her bed and she played David Bowie albums for me. Ziggy Stardust would have been out by then, and I bet I heard it there since I knew the album very well, but I don't think I heard it again for many years after. I did go out and buy Hunky Dory and listened to it exclusively for about 2 months every night.
I hadn't quite forgotten about Patty, but Claire had jogged my memory. Claire told me that Patty's bones may have been found in Death Valley, and that she had been involved in some cult. That was all that she remembered, but if I wanted to know more I should ask Wendy. That piqued my curiosity, so later when I was at home I emailed Wendy and asked her about Patty. Wendy told me to Google 'Nury Alexander' and 'Blue Scout'. When I did this I found the whole story. Now I won't bore you with the rest of her story. Other people have documented that much more thoroughly.
The thing is, that is not the Patty I knew. Patty was pretty much like all of the other girls I knew. She was maybe a little more starry eyed. In many ways the Patty I knew was not the same girl that lived that other life. A few years later the bones that were found in Death Valley were confirmed to be Patty. I was sad then.
Right after Claire told me about Patty I wrote this poem.
Patty Partin
where are you Patty
slip into the mist
silent now are you
or live another
life away our heart
string touch you
Sunday, February 22, 2009
bewarE the predatorS ··· paRt 1
You need to keep an eye out for the predators. In the animal world the predators serve a good purpose. In our world the predators are a pariah. Now by definition pariah is an outcast - outside of the mainstream culture. This defines me in this culture in the human world. So maybe calling the predators a pariah is really my view of the world. I guess at this point you will have to accept my definition - maybe if I am lucky I may acquire one or two converts.
There are a variety of predators. I could go on virtually forever talking about the different types. So in order to save you the misery I will limit myself to one type of predator. I live in the corporate world. Actually I enter the corporate world 5 days a week, 8 1/2 hours a day. I rush in in the morning and rush even faster to get out. When I am in the corporate world I encounter a type of creature that I do not understand. Since I work in IT and development there are less of these creatures and more like me (or at least there are more that are sympathetic to people like me). I still have to deal with these creatures, and some are in IT and development.
These creatures are the type who naturally filter to to top of the corporate food chain. They get jobs such as management and salesmen. These creatures look at others and view them not as equals or peers but as food. People are their means to the top.
Many of these creatures have what you call people skills. Most people (or so I have heard) have people skills. As for myself I have learned some of these people skills, but I am not really comfortable with them. I hear that it is important to have people skills, but at best I can simulate people skills.
I am not putting down people skills, and I am not saying that those who have people skills are all predators. Some of my favorite people are those with people skills. The predators seem to like people with people skills and value this higher than any other skill.
While I work in this corporate world I have found that my skills are rather valuable. I have not had a job that I have not been able to master, except when it involves too much interaction with people. If I can keep that to a minimum then I will do well, no I excel (I say that without ego, I score low on the ego-metre).
These predators whose goal it is to force their way to the top of the corporate chain, do so by sacrificing (I mean sacrifice in the old sense where the heathens of the past used to kill innocent animals) anyone who is in their way. For some reason (who am I to imagine what goes on in their minds) they seem to thrive most on sacrificing people who would never imagine being a threat to them. Being the least threat I have often wondered why they do this and why I have been a victim.
This is why I call them predators. In the wild the predators find it easier to attack the weaker animals and eat them. This works well in the wild. This doesn't make sense in this world (or maybe it just doesn't make sense to me since I am quite a foreigner to this world) since the ones perceived as weak are actually some of the most useful. There are many predators and predators in training who work in a company who unfortunately do not contribute to the actual work of the company. The further they move up the corporate food chain the least productive they became. Not only are they less productive but the (so called) work that they do actually diminishes the productivity of those who are productive. This is to me a strange phenomenon.
I'm getting tired (physically, but more mentally). I will finish this later.
…
There are a variety of predators. I could go on virtually forever talking about the different types. So in order to save you the misery I will limit myself to one type of predator. I live in the corporate world. Actually I enter the corporate world 5 days a week, 8 1/2 hours a day. I rush in in the morning and rush even faster to get out. When I am in the corporate world I encounter a type of creature that I do not understand. Since I work in IT and development there are less of these creatures and more like me (or at least there are more that are sympathetic to people like me). I still have to deal with these creatures, and some are in IT and development.
These creatures are the type who naturally filter to to top of the corporate food chain. They get jobs such as management and salesmen. These creatures look at others and view them not as equals or peers but as food. People are their means to the top.
Many of these creatures have what you call people skills. Most people (or so I have heard) have people skills. As for myself I have learned some of these people skills, but I am not really comfortable with them. I hear that it is important to have people skills, but at best I can simulate people skills.
I am not putting down people skills, and I am not saying that those who have people skills are all predators. Some of my favorite people are those with people skills. The predators seem to like people with people skills and value this higher than any other skill.
While I work in this corporate world I have found that my skills are rather valuable. I have not had a job that I have not been able to master, except when it involves too much interaction with people. If I can keep that to a minimum then I will do well, no I excel (I say that without ego, I score low on the ego-metre).
These predators whose goal it is to force their way to the top of the corporate chain, do so by sacrificing (I mean sacrifice in the old sense where the heathens of the past used to kill innocent animals) anyone who is in their way. For some reason (who am I to imagine what goes on in their minds) they seem to thrive most on sacrificing people who would never imagine being a threat to them. Being the least threat I have often wondered why they do this and why I have been a victim.
This is why I call them predators. In the wild the predators find it easier to attack the weaker animals and eat them. This works well in the wild. This doesn't make sense in this world (or maybe it just doesn't make sense to me since I am quite a foreigner to this world) since the ones perceived as weak are actually some of the most useful. There are many predators and predators in training who work in a company who unfortunately do not contribute to the actual work of the company. The further they move up the corporate food chain the least productive they became. Not only are they less productive but the (so called) work that they do actually diminishes the productivity of those who are productive. This is to me a strange phenomenon.
I'm getting tired (physically, but more mentally). I will finish this later.
…
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